I was too good for self care
I’ve evolved in my understanding of self care.
I used to confuse it with selfishness. I never wanted it to be said that I put myself ahead of other people. I wanted to practice self-denial. I didn’t understand that self-denial can actually be taken too far.
A wise professor taught me that self-care is different from selfishness.
A wise counselor pointed out to me that Jesus, who epitomized self-denial, modeled self care, too.
And a wise person whom I live with (my wife) let me know that I’m a lot more fun to be around on the days I get exercise 😂 She helped me to realize that caring for myself is synonymous with caring for her.
Today, I see self care not just as a way to feel better, but as a way to live and love better.
Neuroscience explains why. It shows how rest, creativity, play, and spirituality help our minds and bodies function at a higher level.
For me, self care is an ethical issue. I can only care for clients to the extent that I care for myself. And my professional experience suggests that the most miserable people are the ones who are caring for themselves the least.
Why don’t people care for themselves? Reasons include:
Too busy caring for others
Don’t see the point
Never learned such habits
Depressed, thus lacking motivation
Insufficient time or opportunity
We all identify with the last one. Sometimes our to-do list gets too long, and there’s simply no time. If that happens to you, I suggest you might want to put Self Care on the To-do List. It may help you to remember that the most time sensitive things are not always the most important things in life.
Examples of self care:
Reflection (prayer, meditation, quiet breaks)
A break from screen time
Movement (yoga, stretch, lift)
Aerobic exercise (hike, run, dance, cycle, swim)
Hobbies and creative projects
Reading and listening
Music (listen, play, sing)
Exploring (walks, museums, nature)
Self care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others.
—Parker Palmer
Practice.
Q: What do you do for self care?
Q: How do you feel on days you take time for it compared to days you don’t?
Q: What impact does it have on your personality? And on your work?
Q: What gets in the way for you?
Q: What do you want to do more of?
